IT families: Serik and Amila Mergenbaev

We met a young couple from Almaty. She is a product designer, and he is a product manager. Their story is an example of how a partner’s support can change one’s professional path. Read more in our interview.

Serik Mergenbayev, city — Almaty, product manager, LinkedIn

Amila Mergenbayeva, city — Almaty, product designer, Instagram

About themselves

Serik. I am a product manager in IT, originally from Karaganda. I met my wife in 2020 in Almaty. We studied at the same university, although we didn’t cross paths then. One day, I was scrolling through Instagram, saw her story, and reacted with fire emojis. Then we met for coffee—the conversation dragged on, and everything took off from there.

Amila. I have been working as a product designer for about five years now, currently at UMAG. We have been married for two years.

I noticed his profile, but at that time, I was working in the field of forensic expertise, where I often had to deal with difficult and even heavy cases. Therefore, I was cautious about new acquaintances. Fortunately, it turned out that we had mutual friends. I wrote to one of my friends to learn more about him.

My friend spoke positively about him and mentioned that he also studied at our university. After that, we started communicating, met up, and our acquaintance gradually developed into a serious relationship.

How they entered the IT field

Amila. I came to IT thanks to my husband. Working in forensic expertise was tense and stressful. At some point, he suggested considering other directions and noted that the IT field is calmer, more promising, and, moreover, offers a higher income.

In my previous profession, the salary was low, and it took a lot of time to work. Then my husband advised me to take training courses, try myself in a new field, and see how close it felt to me. That’s exactly what I did: I took the courses, started looking for a job, and got hired at my first company—that’s where my professional growth in IT began.

Serik. In 2011, I launched my first project: I found small investments and went through the entire cycle—from idea to the first checks. Then I realized that IT offers many more opportunities and fully immersed myself in technologies and processes. Gradually, I identified my “niche”—at the intersection of sales, marketing, and development. Later, I realized that this role is called a product manager.

In 2018, I moved from the mining capital, Karaganda, to Almaty and got a job as a product manager at an agency. There, I gained a solid foundation and broadened my technical perspective.

Currently, I work at a company that develops a loyalty program. We make the product better so that changes are noticeable both to people and in numbers: we formulate goals, launch improvements, and honestly measure results—by revenue and key metrics.

Distribution of responsibilities

Amila. Responsibilities in our family are distributed evenly. There is no situation where I am only responsible for the “female” part, and my husband exclusively for the “male” part. Everything is mutual and modern. If I get tired, he helps, and vice versa. Since we both have office jobs, we spend most of our time away from home, so we often come back tired.

We handle household chores together. I especially appreciate that my husband doesn’t expect me to cook every day. Currently, he is on a balanced diet, and he orders food himself, so after work, I can rest.

We spend our free time differently: we go for walks, attend events, or simply relax at home. We both love traveling. We have already been together to Thailand, Egypt, Sri Lanka, and Goa—these are our most memorable trips.

Serik. In our free time, we take a lot of photos and videos—travel, Almaty, mountains, people. I especially like capturing “live” emotions in the frame. We both have skills in photography and video, so this is our shared hobby. Plus, sports, going to the cinema, and quiet evenings at home.

As for weekly rituals, we try to go out to a bar at least once a couple—this is our way to “recharge” and just talk about anything but work.

Family traditions

Amila. We don’t have strict traditions or obligations whose violation would be perceived as something wrong. We try to approach life and ourselves without excessive frameworks and stereotypes.

Nevertheless, there is one habit—joint financial planning. We have a common expense table, but we don’t keep it strictly every month. However, we always discuss major purchases or important goals in advance. Approximately every two to three months, we review priorities and decide where to save.

One of the constant items in our budget is travel. We plan them several months in advance, estimate the expected expenses, and set aside the required amount in advance.

Serik. We try to preserve family and Kazakh traditions, adapting them to the modern rhythm: respect for elders, hospitality, mutual assistance. But our main value is honest conversation. We are not a perfect couple, difficulties happen to everyone, so we try not to keep things hidden—we discuss, name things by their true names, and always look for solutions together.

Combining household chores and work

Serik. Currently, we are comfortable: work in IT requires attention, but without excess—we help each other and keep household matters under control. We understand that with the arrival of a child, priorities and schedules will change, so we are preparing in advance for flexibility and mutual support.

Amila. In general, I don’t think it is difficult to combine work in IT with household chores and family life. Of course, sometimes my husband spends a lot of time at the computer, even on weekends—checking projects or handling additional tasks. But overall, this does not create discomfort.

IT—in my opinion—is a wonderful field that offers more freedom and flexibility. For comparison, my previous job in forensic expertise was much more difficult and stressful. Now, on the contrary, I feel that IT opens up more opportunities: you can work remotely and, for example, move to another country for a few months.

Recommendations for a happy family life

Amila. It is important not just to listen to your partner, but to really hear them. For me, as a woman, it is especially important to be perceived not formally, but with attention—to notice even small gestures, minor interactions, manifestations of care in everyday things.

I believe that this is the foundation of harmonious relationships. In addition, it is important to build joint plans and goals. We are lucky in this regard—we both work in IT, and we have common benchmarks. We plan the next three to five years together, discuss travels, career steps, and personal goals.

Even if each person moves in their own direction, common goals and a unified vision help maintain connection, inspiration, and a sense of partnership.

Serik. Make mistakes and learn from them. There is no magic pill—relationships are constant work on oneself and with a partner. The main thing is to look in the same direction: have matching goals and dreams that you honestly talk about.

How IT families differ from others

Serik. We are an ordinary couple, like everyone else. The difference, perhaps, is only in work habits that spill over into daily life: we try to formulate things clearly, agree in advance, and take responsibility for decisions. We often look a few steps ahead—to ensure plans align and it is clear why we are doing something.

But the basic things are the same as everyone else’s: respect, honest conversation, mutual support. In short—less drama, more specifics.

Amila. In my opinion, families where both partners work in IT are somewhat different from others. Such couples are usually more flexible and “light on their feet.” It is easier for them to make changes—for example, move to another country, try a new work format, or spontaneously go on a trip.

IT specialists in general are more open to the world and strive for development. You often hear stories about couples moving, say, to Amsterdam or other countries, continuing to work remotely, and combining career with travel. This, in my opinion, is a distinctive feature of such families.