IT families: Odil Mukhamadov and Durdona Bakhromova

Durdona Bahronova, city — Tashkent, software engineer, Instagram

Odil Mukhamadov, 28 years old, city — Tashkent, software engineer

About Us

Durdona. I work at Super Dispatch, an American startup with an office in Tashkent and its headquarters in the US. I have been employed here for almost four years. I have just over five years of experience in the IT field. In addition to my job, I actively participate in the GDG Tashkent and Women Techmakers Tashkent IT communities.

Odil. I work as a frontend developer for a Dubai-based company, remotely from Tashkent. Durdona and I studied together at Westminster University. We met there, but only started dating in 2016.

How we entered the IT field

Odil. After graduating from university, I planned to start my own business. For six months, I tried to implement this idea, but without success — I lacked connections and budget, and my plan was not well thought out.

After that, I needed to start earning money. I decided to become a Python developer and started sending out resumes, but no one hired me because we did not study this language at Westminster.

Then, an acquaintance wrote to me, saw my DotNet experience in my portfolio, and offered me a job at his company. At first, I refused, but he convinced me to try, since I had no job. I agreed — and that is how my IT career began. Initially, I worked on backend, but later switched to frontend, and I liked it.

Durdona. I was invited to work at Inha University, where I started as a business analyst, not even knowing what the role entailed. It turned out that the main task was writing documentation. I was bored and did not complete my probation period, leaving the position.

Later, I was invited to another project, but the situation repeated itself. At the beginning of my career, many people thought that girls were good at handling documentation, so I was often assigned such tasks.

Everything changed when an acquaintance offered to help with his project — developing a mobile app. This sounded much more interesting than working with documents, so I agreed. That is how my journey in IT began.

Later, I moved into development, but this project was my first experience in the field. Currently, I work in a hybrid format.

Because the management is based in America, we often have evening meetings, so the workday starts later and ends late.

Distribution of responsibilities  

Durdona. In our house, all responsibilities are divided equally. I don't like cooking, so my partner handles that, while I take care of cleaning. We vacuum together, he washes the dishes, and I clean the bathroom. We have a cat: I am responsible for feeding, and he is responsible for cleaning up after it. Overall, everyone has their own areas of responsibility.

Odil. We immediately made a list of household chores and chose the ones we were comfortable doing. If something stops working for us, we review the distribution of responsibilities.

We hardly have any free time, so we try to use it for rest. The workday starts around 11:00-12:00 and ends only by 21:00.

Durdona. We have started working more, focusing on our careers, but in the past, the balance between work and personal life was more even. We spent more time on active recreation, often going to hockey games.

Odil. In the past, every Saturday morning we would go to a café for breakfast, talk, and conduct a weekly retrospective. 

Family traditions

Odil. We don't have special traditions, but there are habits that repeat year after year.

Durdona. For example, every summer we try to travel with our group of friends. This has become a tradition — over the past few years, we have traveled together about five times. Traveling brings joy, and we always choose a new destination. Among the countries we have visited are Kazakhstan, Italy, Turkey, Germany, and Poland. Some trips were joint, while others were separate.

Combining household duties and work

Durdona. We live separately from our parents, so household tasks do not seem difficult. Of course, caring for older family members would require more responsibility, but currently, we are only responsible for ourselves and our cat. Therefore, combining work and household duties is quite easy. Perhaps in the future, with the arrival of children, the load will increase, but for now, we comfortably handle all responsibilities.

Recommendations for a happy family life  

Odil. The most important thing we did at the beginning of our life together was to discuss our expectations, desires, and visions of the future. For example, Durdona wanted to live in Tashkent, and I wanted to live in another city. In the end, we made a joint decision to move, and it benefited us both. We honestly voiced our expectations to each other and try to take them into account to make our life together comfortable.

Many men have the belief that "the man is the head of the house" and his word should be decisive. I disagree with this. Even if a woman says she is comfortable submitting, it does not always mean she is happy. It is important not to dominate, but to maintain constant dialogue and mutual understanding.

Durdona. In our relationship, there is no leader and subordinate — it is a partnership. We discuss all decisions, analyze the situation, and support each other. Because we work in the same field, it is easier for us to find common ground and even share professional issues.

In family life, it is impossible to maintain a strict 50/50 balance. Everything depends on circumstances. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. We try to complement each other: for example, I don't like dealing with documents, while Odil, on the contrary, is attentive to details and handles this better. Sometimes one person's contribution is 80%, and the other's is 20%, but over time, everything balances out. The main thing is to understand your strengths and help your partner.

How IT families differ from others

Durdona. Retrospectives are important to us — this is a practice we have transferred from work to personal life. In IT companies, a retrospective is a meeting where problems are discussed, processes are analyzed, and ways to improve them are sought. We applied this method in our family: we periodically sit down and discuss what satisfies us and what can be changed. This is especially useful for couples where both partners work in the same field.

This approach helped us resolve emerging difficulties. When problems arose, we discussed them as colleagues, using the format of work meetings. This method proved to be an effective tool for improving relationships and better understanding each other.

Odil. If we compare with other families, one of our key differences is the ability to work remotely. We are not tied to a specific location, and if we want to live in another country, we can simply continue working from the new place.

Another important aspect is working with foreign companies and proficiency in English. We use it daily, which gives us more opportunities in our careers and expands our professional prospects.

It is also worth noting our high chances of relocation. IT professionals in general have more opportunities to move, and we have twice as many, since each of us has the chance to change countries separately.

Moreover, we can discuss professional issues and easily understand each other, even in the technical aspects of work. This creates additional mutual understanding in the family.