IT families: Almaz Chanachev and Kiyal Asankozhoeva

Kyial Asankozhoeva, city — Bishkek, People Manager, Team Lead of HR Processes, @Coach_kyial  

Almaz Chanachev, city — Bishkek, Manager

About Us

Kyial. I love people, exploring motives, and I read a lot of books on psychology, developing in this direction for over 15 years.

Almaz. I work as a manager in an IT company and communicate a lot with people. We worked in the same bank, but we were not acquainted, although we had heard about each other.

Kyial. My husband worked in IT, and I worked in treasury. A twist of fate brought us together.

How we entered the IT field

Kyial. The most interesting thing is that as an applicant, I wanted to study IT, but my parents were against it. At the same time, I always had the desire to work in the IT sector. I joined the company as an executive and team coach, and currently, I perform the role of Team Lead of HR Processes. We have a flexible work schedule at our company, and I try to come to the office regularly — I enjoy it.

Almaz. We also have a hybrid work format: you can work from the office or from home, but since we both work intensively with people, face-to-face interaction with them is considered an important aspect.

Distribution of responsibilities

Kyial. We have four sons; three are close in age — the eldest is 11 years old, and the youngest is one year and eight months old. I look after the youngest, while the three older ones are on my husband. Different competitions, training sessions, and tournaments, morning school drop-offs — everything is on him.

Almaz. Whenever possible, we try to spend weekends together as a family at home. The children love going to cafes and spending time with us, watching movies, playing games, especially "Mafia," which they adore. We also play games on tablets. In the summer, we try to go to Issyk-Kul or go out into nature. If we stay in the city, we go ice skating, and in winter, we ski in the mountains. Periodically, the children visit their grandparents.

Family traditions

Kyial. Our tradition is to celebrate birthdays with parents and mark the monthly completion of the children's training sessions by ordering pizza. We also try to plan our Friday evenings and then spend the weekend as planned.

Almaz. We try to spend time together as a family, and as you understand, family is one of our primary and important values, as is the time spent with parents. Respecting each other's personal space, including the children's personal space, also plays an important role. Continuous learning has become part of our family values and traditions. Moreover, a love for education has always been instilled in our families. We continuously learn and improve our qualifications — this helps us remain in demand and refine our professionalism. Reading books can also be considered a tradition, and the knowledge gained can be considered part of the family's value system.

Combining household chores and work

Kyial. Currently, it is much easier for me to work than it was at the bank because I have the opportunity to take a day off or a break — to step away for a while, for example, to attend a morning event at the children's school or to see a doctor, and then make up for the missed hours on the weekend. There was no such flexibility at the bank. As for household chores, it can sometimes be difficult, so we try to delegate routine tasks to housekeepers.

Recommendations for a happy family life

Kyial. Without love and respect between husband and wife, it is impossible to build a family. Relationships are the foundation, and to strengthen them, it is important to communicate. Not all conversations are pleasant, and that is normal. It is also important to understand what I want from these relationships and from my partner. If I need support, I should openly talk about my feelings, for example: "I am having a hard time, and I want you to support me." It is important to adequately recognize each partner's contribution to the family. Often, when it comes to divorce, both spouses believe that they put 90% of the effort into the relationship and did everything possible to save the family. However, the problem is that neither of them notices this contribution. This may be a consequence of a basic lack of communication, unwillingness to listen to each other, and insufficient effort to understand one's partner.

How IT families differ from others

Kyial. I cannot speak for all families, but it is worth noting that IT specialists are people with a special type of thinking. Their work involves cognitive load, which requires significant effort and time for recovery. Transitioning from work mode to family mode can be difficult, especially if the work is done remotely.

Almaz. Our family differs in that my wife, to a large extent, works with people, just like I do. In this sense, we are not a family of developers in the usual sense of the word. We work in an IT company, but we do not write code.

We differ from others not because we are an IT specialist family, but because we try to do some things differently. For example, we do not so much question certain established social traditions as we try to understand what they were aimed at and when they were invented by our ancestors. And also, what problem they were trying to solve then and how relevant it is to modern times and realities.