IT families: Adilbek Dostiyarov and Alina Saduova

Adilbek Dostiyarov, City — Seattle, Software Development, CEO, @a_dostiyarov

Alina Saduova, City — Seattle, Software Engineer at Amazon, @alinasaduova

About Us

Alina. We have a similar background; we both studied at the same university, then moved to the US for our master’s degrees and worked at Amazon Web Services.

We met back in 2014 at Nazarbayev University, but we only started communicating in 2015 when we became classmates in the “Robotics” department. We often did lab work and projects together, which is how we became close acquaintances.

Adilbek. After graduating from university, I went to study at the University of Washington. Alina spent another year working in Kazakhstan. Then, on my advice, she also enrolled in that university. In the US, we re-introduced ourselves because America always tests and changes people: you mature and think more broadly. We got to know each other better, and after a few years in the US, we started a serious relationship.

How We Entered the IT Field

Alina. I entered the IT field because of the movie “Iron Man”: I wanted to create cool technologies and work with robots, so I enrolled in robotics. In reality, it wasn’t as fun as I thought, so when searching for a master’s program, I applied for Computer Science—a more universal science—and deliberately decided to work in the cloud technology sector. After completing my master’s degree, I started working at AWS. I worked fully remotely for a year due to the pandemic, and since May 2023, I have been going to the office three times a week to work with colleagues in person.

Adilbek. I chose the IT field on the advice of my older brother, who worked at Google and Amazon. In 2023, I left Amazon and opened my own IT company in the AI and Blockchain sectors. Today, I have a flexible schedule, and I work from home.

Distribution of Responsibilities

Alina. We are a small but close-knit family: an IT husband, an IT wife, and an IT puppy. There aren’t many responsibilities. The main ones include financial and investment decisions, cooking, cleaning the house, and planning leisure time. My husband is responsible for finances and taking care of the puppy, while I am good at planning our time together.

We take turns cooking, and even more often my husband does it since he works from home. Sometimes we order food delivery. Once a month, a cleaning service comes for a deep clean; otherwise, we maintain cleanliness with a robot vacuum and mop.

Adilbek. In our free time during the warmer months, we often go out into nature, and we travel several times a year. In winter, we go to ski resorts. As for daily life, the whole family goes for a walk every evening, sharing new impressions and discussing everything under the sun.

Family Traditions

Adilbek and Alina. We are still a young family, but we have already established some traditions. For example, we celebrate our birthdays twice: once according to Kazakhstan time—celebrating with part of the family that also lives in Seattle. And on the second day, according to American time, we celebrate with friends. Additionally, we organize themed parties at home once a year, where we decorate everything, plan dress codes, games, and prizes, and have fun with friends. In the first year, we held a “Halloween” party, and the second time, a “Christmas” party.

Combining Household and Work

Alina. At first, it was difficult to balance, especially when I started going to the office after the quarantine. It was unusual to leave home so often and for such long periods. In the evenings after work, there was less enthusiasm for engaging in shared hobbies. But once I got used to this rhythm, things got better.

Now, work and household life are separated. You can forget about work and “leave” everything at the office, and spend all your time at home together. Cooking, walking the dog, discussing each other’s day, and having many conversations.

Recommendations for a Happy Family Life

Alina. Our “pack” became a family relatively recently. Because of this, I feel that we don’t have enough authority to give recommendations. But we have rules that allow us to be happy with each other:

1. Mutual respect. Hot love and wild passion are, of course, wonderful. But in moments when you are angry or hurt with each other, romance takes a back seat. During these moments, it helps to know what you appreciate and respect about your partner.

2. Mutual understanding and communication. We took longer to reach this rule. Despite our similar backgrounds, we remain different individuals with our own interests, fears, and concerns. What seems trivial to one partner can be an insurmountable obstacle for another. Now, we discuss every feeling with understanding, without judgment, and always stay on the same side.

3. Gratitude. It prevents us from forgetting why we love each other. In the hustle of work, people often forget to thank their partner for being theirs and being by their side. People start taking the pleasures of life for granted. We always notice the good in each other, sometimes with words, sometimes with gifts. I express gratitude with a strong hug, and my husband knows that I love flowers and surprises me with seasonal blooms every week.

I hope these “rules” will be useful to someone. But we sincerely believe that every couple has its own values, and it is important to define them for yourselves.

How IT Families Differ from Others

Adilbek and Alina. IT families differ in financial freedom. This field is well-paid, and when both partners are employed, you can maintain a comfortable standard of life while still having time for travel.

Alina. The main difference in our family is that my husband is incredibly charismatic, and my husband’s wife is incredibly beautiful.

The IT field offers schedule flexibility, which allows us to coordinate our time as we wish. For example, on remote work days, you might find us somewhere in a park with a cup of coffee, rather than at a desk. We choose to enjoy the sun together and work in the evening. It is difficult to do this in families where one partner is not in IT.