IT families: Ayan and Amina Serikhan

Data Science, project management, shared trips, and a rule that helps navigate any conflict. Ayan and Amina Serikhan shared how they met, why they chose IT, how they divide responsibilities at home, and what principles help them maintain a balance between career and family life.

Ayan Serikhan, city — Almaty, Data Science Specialist, Instagram

Amina Serikhan, city — Almaty, project manager, Instagram

About themselves

Ayan. I am from Astana. After school, I enrolled in SDU in the Computer Science program. During my studies, I tried different areas of programming and eventually settled on Data Science. In my third year, I found a job in my field — and that’s how I stayed in Almaty. I enjoy developing myself in various fields, so I signed up for the personal growth courses “Vector.” It was there that I met my future wife.

Amina. I am from Almaty and have been working as a project manager in IT for three years. I am also starting to run my own Instagram blog.

How they entered the IT field

Ayan. As a child, I was into robotics and drawing, and when I was learning English, I watched medical TV series in that language. In the 11th grade, I had to choose between three fields: programming, surgery, and architecture. Following my uncle’s advice, I chose IT and have never regretted it.

As for my work format, I am quite undisciplined and prefer to structure my process in a way that suits me. I come to the office when I wake up, but I usually leave later than everyone else. I find this comfortable: when I work, I get into a flow and barely notice how time flies. The most important things for me are interest and progress. Thanks to this, I am often more efficient than my colleagues: as long as a task interests me, I can work until victory. But if my interest fades, I simply switch to another project or task.

Remote work is an option, but honestly, I don’t like it — there are too many distractions at home. So I take remote work selectively: when I am waiting for a large delivery or when I am sick. Otherwise, I try to work from the office.

Amina. Before IT, I worked with bloggers on the project “Topim Zhir,” which is now called AIEL. Within this work, there were many processes involving developers. I wanted to understand IT from the inside and try myself in this field, so I joined the IT company “Galamat” as a Key Account Manager and then grew into a project manager. Currently, I work in an office format with the possibility of partial remote work. 

Division of responsibilities

Ayan. In my family, there is my mother and two younger sisters. My mother raised me so that all tasks involving heavy labor are on me: taking out the trash, going grocery shopping, and so on. At the same time, she taught me to do laundry, mop the floors, vacuum, and cook — preparing me for independent life abroad. As a result, I live in Almaty, but all these skills came in handy.

Based on this, I asked Amina not to lift or carry heavy things — if something needs to be done, she asks me, and I do it. I recently bought a car, so now everything related to it is also on me: trips for heavy bags when we go to the market for meat, any repairs and home improvements, buying furniture and groceries. In the store, Amina fills the cart, and I pay for the purchases.

Amina is responsible for coziness and order in the apartment, cooking, and washing dishes. Laundry is mostly on her, but I help when I see that she is tired or when she asks. I also sometimes wash dishes — depending on her condition. In general, we don’t have a clear division of labor; we just help each other.

In our free time, I love playing on PlayStation, and sometimes we watch TV series, movies, and anime. After buying the car, we started going out into nature more often and visiting relatives.

Amina. In general, we don’t have a clear division of labor — we always help each other and try to do everything together.

We try to eat balanced meals, so we take lunch with us and cook dinner at home. Once a week or every two weeks, we have a cheat meal: we go to a restaurant or order delivery.

In our free time, we watch TV series, I color Disney coloring books, and Ayan plays on PlayStation. Recently, we have also started enjoying car trips.

Family traditions

Ayan. We don’t have any established traditions — at least, I can’t think of any right away. The main value for us is love. Also, we have a common rule: to do everything to preserve our relationship and make it better and more interesting.

There are also personal agreements. For example, Amina tries to be home before midnight. If she is at an event — say, a friend’s birthday — she writes to me by that time to say everything is fine. When I send her home by taxi late in the evening, she lets me know she has arrived safely. From the outside, such agreements might seem excessive, but for me, this is about care and responsibility for a loved one — the minimum level of safety that is important to me.

Amina. We don’t have specific family traditions, but in the evening after work, we always talk about how the day went. On weekends, we try to spend time together. Once a year, we go on a trip abroad.

Our family values are trust, respect, and love. We also have one main rule — to do everything in our power to preserve our relationship and make it even better. This rule appeared on the first day of our relationship. Every quarrel or conflict goes through the question: “Did I really do everything in my power?”

Combining household chores and work

Amina. Combining household chores and work is not difficult because working in IT helps structure household tasks. For example, I often prepare ingredients in advance so that I can quickly cook dinner on busy days. On Sundays, we buy groceries for the week.

So, just like in work, we have our own processes and deadlines that we follow. Difficult days happen everywhere and always; the main thing is to support each other in such situations.

Ayan. Most of my time is spent on work, and initially, this led to conflicts. Then we learned to compromise. When Amina wants to spend time together, I work from home in the evenings, or we go to the cinema, for a walk, or to a restaurant. In general, the workload is compensated by the time we spend together — and in this sense, there are no problems.

Recommendations for a happy family life

Ayan and Amina. There is probably no universal recipe — much depends on the partners themselves. But if we talk about what helps us specifically, it is primarily communication. Many conflicts can be avoided if you discuss your feelings and sensations in advance. We try to speak directly to each other about what we like and what we don’t, and share our desires. During arguments and resentments, it helps to put yourself in your partner’s shoes — that way, many things become clearer.

And perhaps the most important thing is to be each other’s closest people.

How IT families differ from others

Ayan. Perhaps what distinguishes us are our goals and how we approach them. We quickly immerse ourselves in tasks and know how to build a plan. Even if the field is unfamiliar to us — for example, buying an apartment — we know how to approach it correctly. A big plus is that we are both in IT: we have many common topics for discussion, and it is great when your partner understands you with half a word.

Amina. Our family is distinguished by our ambitions — we are not suited to live “like everyone else.” We try to live at 100% and invest in everything at 100% as well.

Globally, an IT family is no different from any other, but working in the same field brings people closer, providing greater mutual understanding and a common context.