IT families: Alexander and Elena Zaburdyaev

Alexander Zaburdyaev, city — Astana, Blockchain, DevOps, System Engineer

Elena Zaburdyaeva, city — Astana, Head of Projects, Business and Technology Services

About Us

Elena. We met online via ICQ in the early 2000s, while we were students — back then, “Aim” (ICQ) was a popular way to meet and communicate. Our initial acquaintance didn’t go beyond a virtual chat. But a few years later, after we had both graduated from university and had constant internet access from our workplaces, our communication resumed. At first, it was friendly and interesting — it turned out we had many common topics and generally shared similar views on life. Later, we met in real life. This year marks 15 years since we got married.

Alexander. In the dial-up era, the main communication tool was the ICQ client. It was amazing — you entered parameters and found a person. If that person was from your city and had ICQ, you had to urgently add them to your contacts list, just in case you might meet in real life. That’s exactly how it happened with us.

How we entered the IT field

Elena. We both decided on our professions in our youth — both of us have specialized IT education, and all our experience is related to IT. It’s both a source of income and simply something we’re passionate about.

Alexander. I was inspired by the movie “Hackers” starring a young Angelina Jolie, with its interesting plot and graphics. “Hack the planet!” At that time, I decided that it was super — to control ships, machines, and indeed the whole world. That’s how I came into IT.

Elena. After the pandemic, having experienced all the perks of working from home, Sasha switched to 100% remote work, while I work in a hybrid format — roughly 50/50 between the office and remote. This mode is comfortable for everyone.

Distribution of responsibilities

Elena. We both have demanding work schedules — we are constantly involved in projects with their own deadlines, emergencies, and so on. Therefore, to manage everything, avoid burnout, and spend enough time together as a family, discipline, daily routine, and role distribution save the day. For example, we always wake up early enough to have a leisurely breakfast together before starting the workday. Regarding chores, we have a rule — I cook, Sasha washes the dishes, and vice versa. Another example — I ensure clean clothes in the closet, while Sasha handles all utility bills and payments. We’ve also delegated some household tasks — for instance, hiring a cleaning service.

Alexander. We spend our free time together — we walk, go to nature, eat deliciously at restaurants, and watch movies at home, always discussing them afterward. Sometimes, when there’s too much communication at work, we can ask each other not to bother us and spend some time alone to recharge and restore our nerves.

Elena. We are quite private people in our personal lives, as work already provides plenty of contacts and communication. Therefore, we usually spend our free time in family seclusion.

Family traditions

Alexander. Family breakfast is sacred, especially on weekends. Another tradition — no gadgets at the table. To prevent Elena from accidentally checking her work chat during breakfast or lunch at a café or restaurant, we have a rule — whoever picks up their phone first pays the bill.

Elena. We also have a tradition — family hugs! Definitely in the morning, during the day. And in the evening, when you finish work or come back from the office, and you’re greeted by your husband’s and daughter’s smiles and hugs — that’s one of the most valuable moments of the day.

From the very beginning of our acquaintance and virtual conversations, the main value has been openness. We discuss everything, no unspoken words or hidden resentments. And, of course, trust. We raise our daughter with these same values.

Combining household chores and work

Elena. Any working mom and wife will tell you that it’s not easy. Of course, it’s not always possible to achieve balance between family and work — especially during complex project stages or business trips. Here, the same discipline, daily routine, and planning help — for example, weekend meal prep like “take it out of the fridge, 10 minutes — and dinner is ready.” Sometimes, of course, food delivery helps, but we try not to overuse it. Our daughter is slowly learning to cook simple dishes; she’s 11 now, and we also involve her in light household cleaning. Various household gadgets greatly simplify life and save time. And sometimes, a healthy dose of indifference helps — I allow myself to be an imperfect mother if I’m tired.

Alexander. The biggest problem arises when Lena is at the office or on a business trip — what to feed our daughter. We don’t eat fast food, so planning and advance preparation help. Cleanliness only concerns Lena; I worry about food and safety.

Recommendations for a happy family life

Elena. Everyone has their own recipe for happiness. In my opinion, a happy couple is not two halves, but two independent, fulfilled individuals, held together by love and united by shared views. They are not only spouses but also best friends. They have a large field of common interests, and they want to constantly expand this field — to grow together. That’s exactly how it worked out for us.

Alexander. Just two things — trust and love. If your spouse doesn’t evoke emotions, why do you need such a union? Lena is like a fire that warms today but might burn tomorrow, but you can’t go without it. I’m learning to understand her and try to take care of her myself when needed.

How IT families differ from others

Elena. Today, IT is present in all areas of our lives, and systems and gadgets are used in almost all professions. Also, the IT field is so broad and unites so many professions and attracts such diverse people. It’s hard to single out a common feature of IT professionals. We are ordinary people who love their work and each other, successfully balancing work and family.

Alexander. Like any other families, we occasionally binge-watch series, loaf around, and spend time together in nature. The difference is that people in IT professions are more open to new things and easily manage searching for and accessing information. Also, we probably implement various automated processes faster, not only at work but also in daily life — transmitting readings from smart meters, smart home systems, automating routine tasks.