IT Family: Adilbek Dostiyarov and Alina Saduova

Aidarbek Dostiyarov, Seattle, Software Development, CEO, @a_dostiyarov

Alina Saduova, Seattle, Software Engineer at Amazon, @alinasaduova

About Us

Alina. We have similar experiences; we both studied at the same university, then moved to the US for graduate studies, and worked at Amazon Web Services.

We met in 2014 at Nazarbayev University, but we only started interacting in 2015 when we became classmates in the Robotics department. We frequently completed lab work and projects together, which is how we became close acquaintances.

Aidarbek. After graduating from university, I went to the University of Washington to study. Alina worked in Kazakhstan for another year. Later, she enrolled in this university on my advice. In the US, we reconnected because America always tests and changes people: you become an adult and start thinking more broadly. We got to know each other better, and after living in the US for several years, a calm and steady relationship began between us.

How We Entered the IT Field

Alina. I entered the IT field thanks to the movie "Iron Man": I wanted to create such amazing technologies and work with robots, so I chose the robotics major. In reality, it wasn't that interesting, so when looking for graduate studies, I chose a more universal science—Computer Science—and deliberately decided to work in the field of cloud technologies. After graduating from graduate school, I started working at AWS. During the pandemic, I worked entirely remotely for a year, and since May 2023, I have been going to the office three times a week to work in person with my colleagues.

Aidarbek. I chose the IT field on the advice of my older brother, who worked at Google and Amazon. In 2023, I left Amazon and opened my own IT company in the AI and Blockchain sectors. Currently, my work schedule is flexible, and I work from home.

Division of Responsibilities

Alina. Our family is small but harmonious. There aren't many responsibilities. The main ones are financial and investment decisions, cooking, tidying up the house, and planning leisure time. My husband is responsible for finances and taking care of the dog, while I am good at planning our time together.

We take turns cooking, mostly my husband, since he works from home. Sometimes we order food. Once a month, a cleaning service comes to do a general clean, and during the rest of the time, we maintain cleanliness with a robot vacuum and a floor washer.

Aidarbek. In our free time, especially in the warm season, we often go out into nature and travel a few times a year. In winter, we go to ski resorts. In our daily lives, every evening we take a walk as a whole family, share our new impressions, and discuss various topics.

Family Traditions

Aidarbek and Alina. Although we are still a young family, we have already established traditions. For example, we celebrate our birthdays twice: once according to Kazakhstan time, together with a part of our family living in Seattle. And the second day, according to American time, we spend with our friends. Additionally, once a year we organize themed parties at home, where we decorate everything, come up with a dress code, games, and gifts, and have fun with our friends. In the first year, we organized "Halloween," and the second time we celebrated "Christmas."

Alina. Initially, it was difficult to balance work and domestic life, especially when we started going back to the office after the quarantine. Going out from home frequently and for long periods felt strange. In the evenings after work, there was little motivation to engage in joint hobbies. But once I got used to this rhythm, it became good.

Now work and life are separate; you can forget about work, leave everything at the office, and spend your time at home together. Cooking, walking the dog, discussing each other's days, and talking a lot.

Advice for a Happy Family Life

Alina. Our "family" has only recently formed with its full composition. So, we don't seem to have enough authority yet, but we have rules that allow us to be happy with each other:

1. Mutual respect. Hot love and wild passion are great, of course. But when you are angry or offended with each other, romance takes a back seat. In such moments, knowing why you value and respect your partner helps.

2. Mutual understanding and conversation. We have followed this rule for a long time. Despite our similar experiences, we remain different individuals with our own interests, fears, and feelings. Something unimportant for one partner can be an insurmountable obstacle for the other. Now we discuss every feeling with understanding, without blaming, and we are always on each other's side.

3. Gratitude. It prevents us from forgetting why we love each other. During busy times at work, people forget to thank their partner for being theirs. People start taking the pleasures of life for granted. We always acknowledge each other's kindness, sometimes with words, sometimes with gifts. I express my gratitude with a big hug, and my husband knows that I love flowers and surprises me with seasonal flowers every week.

We hope these "rules" will be useful to someone. But we sincerely believe that every couple has its own values, and it is very important for them to define them for themselves.

How IT Families Differ from Others

Aidarbek and Alina. IT families are distinguished by financial freedom. This region pays well, and when both partners work, it is possible to allocate time for travel and maintain a comfortable standard of living.

Alina. The main difference in our family is that my husband is incredibly charismatic, and my husband's wife is incredibly beautiful.

The IT field offers the opportunity to choose a flexible work schedule, which allows us to arrange our time as we wish. For example, on remote work days, you can find us at a park table, drinking coffee, not at a work desk. We choose to enjoy the sun and leave work for the evening. If one partner in a family does not work in the IT field, it is difficult to have such freedom.